Going Within ~ Welcome Winter Solstice!

A year has passed since I began writing this blog. What an amazing journey it has been! Last December I learned that my landlords were moving back from Hawai'i and that I would need to find a new home. That proved to be a wonderful journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, but I landed in a cozy little cottage in a gorgeous Laguna Beach canyon surrounded by Nature and friends. I lost my feline companion of eleven years, Rusty, but found a new kitty friend who is also proving to be a "medicine cat." And last, but certainly not least, I turned sixty! What an amazing year!

So I enthusiastically look forward to bringing a peace-filled close to 2010 and dreaming in 2012 with intention and focus. This is the time of year where we review and reflect upon our journey.

Throughout history, in the Northern Hemisphere, this has been the time of the inward journey, planting "seeds" to germinate through the winter months. The Winter Solstice occurs when the Earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun. Depending on the shift of the calendar, the Winter Solstice occurs on December 21 or 22 each year in the Northern Hemisphere, and June 20 or 21 in the Southern Hemisphere. Worldwide, interpretation of the event has varied from culture to culture, but most cultures have held a recognition of rebirth involving holidays, festivals, gatherings, rituals or other celebrations around that time.

The upcoming Winter Solstice/Full Moon/lunar eclipse is on December 21, 2010. This is always an important time of year but this year there is extra energy involved. It is a good time to focus and set intentions.

A lunar eclipse is a very special Full Moon. Decisions we make, things we let go of, and things we finish during this waning cycle have significance in the future. It is an excellent time to give up an old habit. Full moons in general, and lunar eclipses in particular, are times of high emotion, and they bring awareness. The sun and the moon, our animus and our emotions, are on opposite sides of the sky, as if the other were a mirror. This is a time of mirroring; we can see ourselves in others if we are willing to look.

This lunar eclipse brings an unprecedented opportunity to bring about a new way of being with regard to others with whom we share Mother Earth. We are called to act in a higher, more authentic way and to keep our mind on the oneness of all beings. In light of the world situation at this time, this lunar eclipse presents an opportune time for each of us to focus on this spirit of oneness with all others.

Blessings be upon you and yours during this holiday season. I leave you with this blessing from John O'Donohue ~

May you recognize in your life the presence, power, and light of your soul
May you realize that you are never alone,
that your soul in its brightness and belonging connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
May you have respect for your individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, that you have a special destiny here,that behind the facade of your life there is something beautiful and eternal happening.
May you learn to see your self with the same delight, pride, and expectation with which God sees you in every moment.

Celebrating the Beauty of Life

Daily I come across articles and books written about the process of evolution that we currently find our world going through. Irregardless of the cultural or ethnic group, religious affiliation, or socio-economic environment, the world is experiencing profound change. Whether it is on the news or in a personal conversation, people are discussing the systems that are falling apart and old paradigms that are breaking down. Some project great fear about the times. Others see the possibility to create a new future. While old ways of being break down, innovative ideas surface to inspire us to reinvent the way we live in our world.


As I watch and listen, it seems that the biggest challenge for all of us is to find a way to evolve without becoming dis-empowered. How do we each step fully into all that our soul came here to be? How do we step forward, into our power, without needing to know the outcome?
 
This process of becoming our full potential is the first step of participating in the global community that so many of us envision. Becoming is an ongoing, evolutionary process that leads us through many changes, both physical and emotional. It is the time on our beautiful planet to reflect, release and re-vision. We can't change the past but we can forgive. We can't control the future but we can project loving thoughts for creating a peaceful, harmonious way of living in alignment with Mother Earth and all Creation. But living in the present is essential to all of this. And living joyfully, without regrets or fear is the key.
 
Recently I joined Sandra Ingerman and a group of sixty shamanic practitioners and teachers in New Mexico to share expanding realities and celebrate the wonder of community. The red rocks of Ghost Ranch were a perfect backdrop for deep introspection and profound ceremony. We connected with the stars and experienced the collective power of joining as one with the Light. Throughout the four days together, Sandra spoke about this being the time of moving into community and the need to project the vision of abundance and joy out into the world. We must continue to come from the place of gratitude, forgiveness, and love as we become One.
 
Becoming an active part of the One community requires each of us to do our personal work, stepping into our own inheritance, our own power; we must BECOME. It is essential that we deepen our own spiritual path, whatever that may be. It is time to recognize and identify the spiritual path that resonates within our heart and follow that calling. Find a community of like-minded people, folks who come from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. Deepen your relationship with nature. Let go of fear and set the intention of working with a loving universe.

Time spent in nature can help transform fears and illusions of limitation. Become intimately acquainted with the natural places where you live. Nature gives us omens and messages and restores balance within and without. Watch the seasons and signs of change. When you see imbalance, envision these places in balance. Our relationship with nature teaches us how to live in harmony in the world. 

If there is something you are called to "do" in order to affect change, do so but do it with a peace-filled heart, not out of fear or in retaliation. Spend time in meditation and prayer, envisioning balance and harmony within nature, seeing these places in their perfect state. See the waters healthy and vibrant. They are a reflection of the water within humans. See the forests thriving and filled with flora and fauna. They are a reflection of our way of being in the world.
 
Another part of becoming is understanding the power of words. What thoughts about yourself and others are you holding? What words do you send out into the world? Are your thoughts and words blessings or curses? I continue to consider the power of thoughts and words daily. Some days I feel quite successful about sending blessings out into the world. Other days I'm not so successful! However "the observer changes the observed" so I know that the awareness of who I am becoming helps me evolve.
 
Projecting thoughts and words of blessing, of love and light, out into communities throughout world make a difference and create positive change. Don't add to the existing fears that the world is experiencing. Your loving, healthy projections can assist in alleviating pain and suffering, empowering countries and people to become their full potential. Join with others in envisioning a healed reality where everyone is in their highest good with all their needs met, with vibrant health and thriving. Feel this in your heart and radiate that love out into the world. Become the change you want to see. See yourself as part of a greater, global community where there is hope and joy. Envision, within and without, the world you want to leave your children. Radiate love, project well-being out into the world. 

Celebrate life!

One of my favorite poets, John O'Donohue, writes...

Now is the time to free the heart,
Let all intentions and worries stop,
Free the joy inside the self,
Awaken to the wonder of your life.

Open your eyes and see the friends  

Those whose kindness watchful and near, 

Encourages you to live everything here.
 

See the gifts the years have given, 

Things your effort could never earn, 

The health to enjoy who you want to be 

And the mind to mirror mystery.

Remembering Rusty

My cat Rusty and I were meant to be together. It’s one of the best “relationships” I’ve ever had, one filled with mutual respect and love. May I have the privilege of finding a two-legged male companion that I am so compatible with!

In April of 1999 I lost my feline friend Rover to cancer. I was devastated as she had been one of three four-legged creatures that had shared our home while my children were growing up. Her passing marked a turning point for me in many ways and the loss of her was deep. I had not intended to get another kitty for a while but destiny had other plans!

A dear friend knew how much I was grieving the loss of Rover. Reluctantly she came to me one day to suggest that there was a very special kitty who needed a home. Her daughter was getting married and had to find a place for Rusty. After much deliberation I agreed to go down to Encinitas and meet him. Well, let’s just say the meeting went well. I drove away with Rusty in my car. He “talked” all the way home – the beginning of a perfect friendship.

Not long after his arrival at my condo in Dana Point, Rusty began bringing me presents from nature: dead bunnies, birds, and mice. He had amazing strength and would go hunting and then drag his “gifts” over a 3-foot block-wall fence into my bedroom. I was careful not to scold him, as I understood the significance of his offerings. I could see that he was grateful to be with me in my home.

One of the things I will never forget is an endearing way Rusty had of showing his affection. He had this sweet way of hugging me. He would wrap his paws around my neck and purr and drool in ecstasy. The only other person I ever saw him do this to was my niece, Dawnielle.

Rusty and I needed each other. We both had abandonment issues and we grew to understand that we could trust each other completely. When I left on trips he had a very hard time because he wasn’t sure I’d come back. I understood that and we worked on making him feel safe. I always had “sitters” that came and stayed with him while I was away.

Through the years Rusty continued to be an incredible hunter and often supplemented his meals with birds and mice. He loved to be outside in the sunshine, smelling the grass and feeling the breeze. This was true up until the end. The day before he passed away he was outside on the patio in a patch of sun, sniffing the breeze.

In the last few years Rusty and I matured in our spiritual work together. Almost three years ago he got sick and I thought I was going to lose him. It was a fearful time for me and I sought out assistance from my shamanic community, asking for insight and guidance. Rusty participated in this process and offered his wisdom to all who would seek it. Many people would communicate with Rusty and receive incredible insight about the process of life and death. During this time Rusty and I began to respect each other at a whole new level. We became healing partners.

Both clients and students came to respect Rusty’s presence during a healing circle or class. He would often come into the circle and sit on my lap while the group was doing work. More than once I found him lying on top of a client when I was doing energy work or shamanic healing. I came to trust his presence and listen to what he had to tell me.

On August 28th I woke up to the sense of Rusty falling. He fell over if he tried to walk and we both knew it was my turn to help Rusty on his final transition. I have been sensing him getting weaker and weaker and we’ve both been aware of a coming shift. It’s the end of another era in my life. Rusty has been with me through many transitions. Thank you, Rusty, for staying with me. Thank you for your unconditional love and support.

Rusty, I miss you. I look forward to meeting you again on the Other Side. I love you.

Becoming the Offering

Recently I had the privilege of spending time in circle with an African shaman, Mandaza Kandemwa, a Mhondoro (one who is in constant prayer on behalf of others) from Zimbabwe. I have known Mandaza for several years now and am always inspired by his teachings and wisdom but this year I was particularly moved and motivated by the things he shared.

We spent a weekend on a pilgrimage in our local Cleveland National Forest, learning from the land and Nature, seeking insight and guidance about what we can do to heal our beautiful planet. The information we received was simple, yet complex. In Mandaza's words, we need to "clean our own kitchens" first - it's not what we do that changes the world, it's what we become. We need to become the prayer, the tobacco, the sacred, the offering. But what does this mean?

During the weekend our group hiked into the forest, meditated in an oak grove and perched ourselves on ancient boulders that provided a panoramic view of the canyons and Lake Elsinore.  What needs to be remembered to bring about peace and healing? What do the ancient ancestors of the land have to teach us? What wisdom is held in the stones, in the plants, in the trees? Are we in alignment with the ancient ancestors of the land? Do we show respect for the indigenous people of this place? What is the appropriate protocol for working here?

We received many messages from Nature. "I Am" is in all of Nature. Creator is everywhere. Some of the information saddened us because many generations of people have been disrespectful and disconnected from Nature. This is true throughout the world. Nature is our teacher and yet humans have quit "listening." God/dess is speaking to us through the natural world. Our current global crisis is the result of our disconnection.

Throughout the weekend I was invited to reflect on my own "kitchen" and look at how I walk in the world. As I pondered this thought I found myself feeling uneasy and I silently became critical of other people in my life.  I was uncomfortable with my judgments so I meditated, wrote, reflected and prayed to uncover what was really going on. After all, this was a pilgrimage. 

My conscious desire is to be a peacemaker but what thoughts do I have about others and myself? What words leave my mouth? Are they thoughts and words of love and healing or do they pollute and damage? Our thoughts and words become blessings or curses...it's that simple and that complicated! It is a call to take personal responsibility first. There is no healing in blaming others, adding to the already prevalent fear in the world. Instead we must become the change we want to see. We must become love and become the hope and peace we pray for.

It was during a water ceremony that I realized that each of the judgments I was experiencing were not about others but about the unforgivable aspects of myself. People serve as reflections of ourself, the best and the worst. When we are unable to forgive ourself for the mistakes we've made along the way, we project that onto others and often find comfort in projecting our self-judgment on others. It was unnerving to see how unloving I am to myself, how judgmental and unforgiving!

But the grace of Divine Love is profound. As soon as I began looking at my own short comings as reflected through the mirror of others, I began to weep. If we are all mirrors for each other, if we truly are all one, and we are all part of the Divine, why are we so critical? Why do we see the worst in each other instead of the sacred? This has to change in order to find true peace and to walk as peacemakers. 

"The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us." -- Black Elk (1863-1950)

I choose to be a peacemaker. I choose to reflect the Light, the love and goodness of all God's Creation. I choose to be a prayer of healing for Mother Earth and all sentient beings. All of Creation is one. Humanity is a part of the whole. We must step forward and join other like-minded beings in bringing about peace and healing. This is not something that any government agency or organization is going to do. This is a grass roots movement. It is time for us to join with our communities, our neighborhoods, and problem solve how we can become sustainable communities, watching out for our neighbors. The time is now for demonstrating true peacemaking. Become the offering. Be the prayer. Be peace.

May each of us become peace, may we become the offering. May we see the Divine in all Creation and may we be a prayer for peace. May we become the change we want to see. I leave you with an ancient Celtic blessing...

Deep peace of the running waves to you,

Deep peace of the flowing air to you,

Deep peace of the smiling stars to you,

Deep peace of the quiet earth to you,

Deep peace of the watching shepherds to you,

Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you.

http://www.ancestralwisdom.com

Gratitude: Manifesting Dreams into Being

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
-- Melody Beattie, author and journalist

Two months ago I was packing boxes, sorting through my accumulated memories and treasures, letting go of  things I'd been holding on to for twenty years while choosing to keep others. But all the while I was anxiously envisioning the perfect home where I could create a new place to live and work. I had done all the preparatory things I tell my students and clients to do: I had written about the place I wanted to live - near the ocean with an expansive view, a place where people felt safe and loved, a new relationship for me; I had done ceremonies to release fears and was focusing on gratitude for all the blessings in my life; I was envisioning the manifestation of my dreaming.  Little did I know that this process would be more complex than I had imagined and that unpacking would be on hold for six months and that I would be invited to detach completely.

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." -Albert Schweitzer

How true this quote is! It was the generosity and unconditional love of friends that gave me hope and allowed me to have the time and space to sort through my situation. Instead of finding a place to unpack my boxes, I was gifted the opportunity to put my things in storage and stay with a generous friend. Then I received an invitation to sublet a little beach cottage in my favorite town for another six months. 

During the first month of separation from my belongings, I went through a myriad of emotions ranging from anger to grief to relief. I was given the chance to reflect on what I had accomplished in my life up to this point and come to a place of gratitude for all the blessings I have received throughout the years. Then I began to see that this uncomfortable place I found myself in was exactly what I had been praying for and envisioning! The surprising lesson was that in asking for the expansion of my living situation, my work, my finances, and my relationships, I was imagining the creation of something completely new. 

When we are focused and heart-centered, we must trust that we are in the process of co-creating our dreams. But the manifestation of our prayers may not unfold like we think they should. When we get really uncomfortable about "unfamiliar" circumstances, change is on the way! 

In this process I have come to realize that I have been focusing on creating a big shift in my life. For at least two years my focus and intention has been to dream into being a way of life that I have not experienced yet. It has come to my attention that at a deep soul-level I really didn't feel like I deserved the abundant life I wanted and that I had become a master at settling for less and adapting to circumstances. This current experience is new. This is change. This is the shift I've been praying for. This is the beginning of a completely new way of being in the world!

So I find myself in a deep state of gratitude for all the "kisses" I've received from God/Source/Divine Wisdom. What seemed random during this process has turned out to be an intricately planned web of interconnected circumstances and relationships. 

We are never alone. There are no mistakes. When we ask for change, and do our personal work to allow the shift we are praying for, "shift happens!" When we stay in a state of gratitude and thankfulness, we find ourselves in the presence of miracles and "magic." 

"Life without thankfulness is devoid of love and passion. Hope without thankfulness is lacking in fine perception. Faith without thankfulness lacks strength and fortitude. Every virtue divorced from thankfulness is maimed and limps along the spiritual road." -John Henry Jowett (1864-1923)