Friday, May 4, 2012

Making Peace with my Mother

Sedona is a place where “magic” happens. Nature has a high vibrational frequency where the energies from multiple dimensions are accessible. Sedona opened the portal to making peace with my mother.

For years I had been seeking understanding about the soul lessons that I encountered while my parents were living. Since their passing I have been able to look deeper into what we had contracted to learn together, sharing ancestral woundings and traumas that needed to be released. I have understood for many years now that my soul agreement was to heal our lineage through forgiveness and transformation of old limiting beliefs and patterns. However I now recognize that even after my mother’s passing eight years ago, I have still not been able to see her as a positive teacher. I loved her and knew she loved me but I have always said that I learned what I did not want to become by watching my mother's journey.

The transformative vibration of Sedona showed me a new picture of my mother. As I sat in meditation about the Divine Feminine and what that looks like embodied within, I was shown an image of my mother’s soul, a snapshot of her “true” self. What I glimpsed was not the woman I knew in real life. This picture was a beautiful soul who was connected to Nature and loved exploring the world. My mother’s soul was peaceful and wished to share wisdom with others. But my mother’s life did not reflect this deep soul’s knowing, this inner wisdom, and I wondered what had happened.

As I continued reflecting and writing in a meditation garden, I heard a young man’s voice saying, “Excuse me Mam. Can you help me? I’m lost and I can’t find my way home.” He looked frantic, filled with fear, and I stood up to help him. He explained that he was from Florida, far away, and didn’t know this place. He had taken a dirt path from his hotel to the church chapel because he wanted to spend some time in prayer. He found the chapel but when he came out he was turned around and disoriented and couldn’t find his way home.

I tried to calm him down and as we walked around the grounds I asked him to look for familiar landmarks. I continued asking him questions and we finally spotted his hotel nearby. We found the path that would lead him back to his family. He was grateful and we blessed each other as we parted.

I knew that this encounter was more than what it appeared so I continued walking and reflecting. He had repeated, “I was looking for the chapel. I wanted to find the chapel. But when I came out I was lost and couldn’t find my way home.” 

As I meditated on this statement my heart opened and I realized it was a message from my mother. She had come to this lifetime with the intention of finding “the chapel,” her sacred place, but during the journey she got lost and couldn’t find her way “home.” She lived her life in fear and disappointment and never seemed to find true happiness, at least not for long. The last five years of her life were lived in confusion and sadness. She had lost her way “home.” The true story of her life’s journey had been lost and she didn’t know how to find it.

This breakthrough was significant for me because I began to see how similar my soul is to my mother’s. The difference is I have had the support and guidance along the way as I needed it to allow me to find my way. This has provided me the opportunities to shift the old family story of so many of my ancestors and to find my way "home" to my soul's purpose. During my lifetime I have encountered many beautiful teachers who guided me and heard my longing to find my soul’s true path. I am grateful for all of them, those in physical form in this lifetime and those from the Other Side.

What a gift my mother’s life has been for me and how grateful I am that she was my mother. She always loved me and always tried to support me but her own wounding prevented her from being fully present. However that was what I needed to “kick-start” my own journey. My quest has led me to reconnecting to the Divine Feminine within myself, through the lessons from my mother.

Thank you Mom! I love you!