Embracing the Shadow

Recently I asked a group of my students to spend the next four months getting to know their chakra energy centers personally and up close. The directive was to spend two weeks intimately connecting with the issues and lessons of each chakra. I knew this would be a powerful exercise but I had no idea how deep this would take all of us.

Intention is everything. Once I had given the assignment, the deep work began within me as well. I must admit some of my shadow issues - traits, fears, and hidden agendas - surfaced and I was humbled.

This is a planet of duality: yin/yang, light/shadow, sun/moon, day/night.  Each of us has a light and a shadow side. The light side is expressed through joy, compassion and unconditional love. Shadow is operating when fear, anger, resentment, hatred, and jealousy  are present. Through conscious awareness the shadow becomes a powerful tool for expanded perspective and a deepened awareness of self. Once we become comfortable that both light and shadow exist within us, we can explore these polarities with detachment, observing our subconscious beliefs without judgment, and step into our lives from a place of empowerment.

The first chakra, the "root" chakra, is located at the base of the spine and rules survival consciousness and represents our deepest unconscious and most primitive self. At the first chakra level we address issues of standing up for self within the family or group, recognizing self-blame, guilt or shame, and the need to clarify personal boundaries.

While exploring the first chakra I found myself confronted with recent decisions and the consequences of having ignored my intuition. I had not set clear boundaries and it had resulted in a difficult situation where a number of people were being affected. I had to rethink my responsibility for my students' overall highest and best good. I had to back track and reset boundaries. It meant that I had to make difficult decisions and there were hurt feelings along the way. It was messy and uncomfortable.  I experienced self-doubt, guilt, and self-blame for not having handled things in a more loving manner. This moved me into issues of the second chakra.

The physical energies of the second chakra symbolize that all relationships are essentially spiritual messengers. They bring into our lives, and we into theirs, revelations about our own strengths and weaknesses. From relationships within the home to those at work to community, no union is without spiritual value; each helps us to grow as individuals. We can more easily see the symbolic value of our relationships when we release our need to judge what and who has value and instead focus on honoring the person and the task with which we are involved.

The second chakra’s energy has an inherent duality. The unified energy of the first chakra, represented by the tribal mind, becomes divided into polairites in the second chakra. Understanding the significance of these opposites is key to working with second chakra issues.  It is crucial to accept our own "shadow" as part of our whole being. The spiritual challenge of the second chakra is learning to interact consciously with others to form unions with people who support our development and to release relationships that handicap our growth.

Throughout this process I considered how the first and second chakra issues where affecting my third chakra, personal power. The third chakra is our power chakra that helps us manage life on earth. It is very helpful and we need it as it is the center of our egoic self. However, it is has limited usefulness. When we try to do everything with this chakra, we get caught in anxiety and fear. Most personality problems are centered in this chakra because it has to do with defending oneself and polarizing judgments.

Managing the power of choice, with all its creative and spiritual implications, is the essence of the human experience. All spiritual teachings are directed toward inspiring us to recognize that the power to make choices is the dynamic that converts our spirits into matter, our words into flesh. Choice is the process of creation itself.

With this new perspective I was able to look with fresh eyes at the situation that had been presented, for myself and others, and accept the "invitation" to forgive myself and then take responsibility for the choices I had made. In the end I felt like I had made the correct decision but also recognized that in future situations I need to pay attention to my intuition before making decisions that affect a group that I am responsible for.

We have chakras that focus on issues of higher consciousness that are not stuck in polarities. The chakras focused on these issues are the fourth through seventh. The fourth chakra is located at the heart center and is connected to universal love, compassion, and empathy for self and others. Located at the throat, the fifth chakra is about speaking our truth, communication, and creative expression. Intuition, physic sight, and visualization is the focus of the sixth chakra located at the forehead (third eye) and the seventh chakra is your spiritual perfection and your connection to Divine Love.

Healing and balancing the chakras of the body is an important part of maintaining a healthy body, mind and spirit. Understanding the chakra system and restoring the balance of light and shadow is essential to wholeness and well being.

May you find the beauty that is inherent in your soul. May you appreciate the lessons provided through relationships and have gratitude for both light and shadow in your life and may you learn to embrace the shadow in your own life.

A Blessing for 2011

Blessing others is a lovely Irish tradition. As we embark on a new year, in honor of all my Irish ancestors, I offer this beautiful blessing by one of my favorite Irish writers, John O'Donohue.

Blessed be the longing that brought you here and quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease to discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging - in love, creativity, and friendship - be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you. 

Blessings of peace, love, and light be upon you and yours in 2011 and beyond ~ Gretchen Crilly McKay

Going Within ~ Welcome Winter Solstice!

A year has passed since I began writing this blog. What an amazing journey it has been! Last December I learned that my landlords were moving back from Hawai'i and that I would need to find a new home. That proved to be a wonderful journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, but I landed in a cozy little cottage in a gorgeous Laguna Beach canyon surrounded by Nature and friends. I lost my feline companion of eleven years, Rusty, but found a new kitty friend who is also proving to be a "medicine cat." And last, but certainly not least, I turned sixty! What an amazing year!

So I enthusiastically look forward to bringing a peace-filled close to 2010 and dreaming in 2012 with intention and focus. This is the time of year where we review and reflect upon our journey.

Throughout history, in the Northern Hemisphere, this has been the time of the inward journey, planting "seeds" to germinate through the winter months. The Winter Solstice occurs when the Earth's axial tilt is farthest away from the sun. Depending on the shift of the calendar, the Winter Solstice occurs on December 21 or 22 each year in the Northern Hemisphere, and June 20 or 21 in the Southern Hemisphere. Worldwide, interpretation of the event has varied from culture to culture, but most cultures have held a recognition of rebirth involving holidays, festivals, gatherings, rituals or other celebrations around that time.

The upcoming Winter Solstice/Full Moon/lunar eclipse is on December 21, 2010. This is always an important time of year but this year there is extra energy involved. It is a good time to focus and set intentions.

A lunar eclipse is a very special Full Moon. Decisions we make, things we let go of, and things we finish during this waning cycle have significance in the future. It is an excellent time to give up an old habit. Full moons in general, and lunar eclipses in particular, are times of high emotion, and they bring awareness. The sun and the moon, our animus and our emotions, are on opposite sides of the sky, as if the other were a mirror. This is a time of mirroring; we can see ourselves in others if we are willing to look.

This lunar eclipse brings an unprecedented opportunity to bring about a new way of being with regard to others with whom we share Mother Earth. We are called to act in a higher, more authentic way and to keep our mind on the oneness of all beings. In light of the world situation at this time, this lunar eclipse presents an opportune time for each of us to focus on this spirit of oneness with all others.

Blessings be upon you and yours during this holiday season. I leave you with this blessing from John O'Donohue ~

May you recognize in your life the presence, power, and light of your soul
May you realize that you are never alone,
that your soul in its brightness and belonging connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
May you have respect for your individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique, that you have a special destiny here,that behind the facade of your life there is something beautiful and eternal happening.
May you learn to see your self with the same delight, pride, and expectation with which God sees you in every moment.

Celebrating the Beauty of Life

Daily I come across articles and books written about the process of evolution that we currently find our world going through. Irregardless of the cultural or ethnic group, religious affiliation, or socio-economic environment, the world is experiencing profound change. Whether it is on the news or in a personal conversation, people are discussing the systems that are falling apart and old paradigms that are breaking down. Some project great fear about the times. Others see the possibility to create a new future. While old ways of being break down, innovative ideas surface to inspire us to reinvent the way we live in our world.


As I watch and listen, it seems that the biggest challenge for all of us is to find a way to evolve without becoming dis-empowered. How do we each step fully into all that our soul came here to be? How do we step forward, into our power, without needing to know the outcome?
 
This process of becoming our full potential is the first step of participating in the global community that so many of us envision. Becoming is an ongoing, evolutionary process that leads us through many changes, both physical and emotional. It is the time on our beautiful planet to reflect, release and re-vision. We can't change the past but we can forgive. We can't control the future but we can project loving thoughts for creating a peaceful, harmonious way of living in alignment with Mother Earth and all Creation. But living in the present is essential to all of this. And living joyfully, without regrets or fear is the key.
 
Recently I joined Sandra Ingerman and a group of sixty shamanic practitioners and teachers in New Mexico to share expanding realities and celebrate the wonder of community. The red rocks of Ghost Ranch were a perfect backdrop for deep introspection and profound ceremony. We connected with the stars and experienced the collective power of joining as one with the Light. Throughout the four days together, Sandra spoke about this being the time of moving into community and the need to project the vision of abundance and joy out into the world. We must continue to come from the place of gratitude, forgiveness, and love as we become One.
 
Becoming an active part of the One community requires each of us to do our personal work, stepping into our own inheritance, our own power; we must BECOME. It is essential that we deepen our own spiritual path, whatever that may be. It is time to recognize and identify the spiritual path that resonates within our heart and follow that calling. Find a community of like-minded people, folks who come from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. Deepen your relationship with nature. Let go of fear and set the intention of working with a loving universe.

Time spent in nature can help transform fears and illusions of limitation. Become intimately acquainted with the natural places where you live. Nature gives us omens and messages and restores balance within and without. Watch the seasons and signs of change. When you see imbalance, envision these places in balance. Our relationship with nature teaches us how to live in harmony in the world. 

If there is something you are called to "do" in order to affect change, do so but do it with a peace-filled heart, not out of fear or in retaliation. Spend time in meditation and prayer, envisioning balance and harmony within nature, seeing these places in their perfect state. See the waters healthy and vibrant. They are a reflection of the water within humans. See the forests thriving and filled with flora and fauna. They are a reflection of our way of being in the world.
 
Another part of becoming is understanding the power of words. What thoughts about yourself and others are you holding? What words do you send out into the world? Are your thoughts and words blessings or curses? I continue to consider the power of thoughts and words daily. Some days I feel quite successful about sending blessings out into the world. Other days I'm not so successful! However "the observer changes the observed" so I know that the awareness of who I am becoming helps me evolve.
 
Projecting thoughts and words of blessing, of love and light, out into communities throughout world make a difference and create positive change. Don't add to the existing fears that the world is experiencing. Your loving, healthy projections can assist in alleviating pain and suffering, empowering countries and people to become their full potential. Join with others in envisioning a healed reality where everyone is in their highest good with all their needs met, with vibrant health and thriving. Feel this in your heart and radiate that love out into the world. Become the change you want to see. See yourself as part of a greater, global community where there is hope and joy. Envision, within and without, the world you want to leave your children. Radiate love, project well-being out into the world. 

Celebrate life!

One of my favorite poets, John O'Donohue, writes...

Now is the time to free the heart,
Let all intentions and worries stop,
Free the joy inside the self,
Awaken to the wonder of your life.

Open your eyes and see the friends  

Those whose kindness watchful and near, 

Encourages you to live everything here.
 

See the gifts the years have given, 

Things your effort could never earn, 

The health to enjoy who you want to be 

And the mind to mirror mystery.

Remembering Rusty

My cat Rusty and I were meant to be together. It’s one of the best “relationships” I’ve ever had, one filled with mutual respect and love. May I have the privilege of finding a two-legged male companion that I am so compatible with!

In April of 1999 I lost my feline friend Rover to cancer. I was devastated as she had been one of three four-legged creatures that had shared our home while my children were growing up. Her passing marked a turning point for me in many ways and the loss of her was deep. I had not intended to get another kitty for a while but destiny had other plans!

A dear friend knew how much I was grieving the loss of Rover. Reluctantly she came to me one day to suggest that there was a very special kitty who needed a home. Her daughter was getting married and had to find a place for Rusty. After much deliberation I agreed to go down to Encinitas and meet him. Well, let’s just say the meeting went well. I drove away with Rusty in my car. He “talked” all the way home – the beginning of a perfect friendship.

Not long after his arrival at my condo in Dana Point, Rusty began bringing me presents from nature: dead bunnies, birds, and mice. He had amazing strength and would go hunting and then drag his “gifts” over a 3-foot block-wall fence into my bedroom. I was careful not to scold him, as I understood the significance of his offerings. I could see that he was grateful to be with me in my home.

One of the things I will never forget is an endearing way Rusty had of showing his affection. He had this sweet way of hugging me. He would wrap his paws around my neck and purr and drool in ecstasy. The only other person I ever saw him do this to was my niece, Dawnielle.

Rusty and I needed each other. We both had abandonment issues and we grew to understand that we could trust each other completely. When I left on trips he had a very hard time because he wasn’t sure I’d come back. I understood that and we worked on making him feel safe. I always had “sitters” that came and stayed with him while I was away.

Through the years Rusty continued to be an incredible hunter and often supplemented his meals with birds and mice. He loved to be outside in the sunshine, smelling the grass and feeling the breeze. This was true up until the end. The day before he passed away he was outside on the patio in a patch of sun, sniffing the breeze.

In the last few years Rusty and I matured in our spiritual work together. Almost three years ago he got sick and I thought I was going to lose him. It was a fearful time for me and I sought out assistance from my shamanic community, asking for insight and guidance. Rusty participated in this process and offered his wisdom to all who would seek it. Many people would communicate with Rusty and receive incredible insight about the process of life and death. During this time Rusty and I began to respect each other at a whole new level. We became healing partners.

Both clients and students came to respect Rusty’s presence during a healing circle or class. He would often come into the circle and sit on my lap while the group was doing work. More than once I found him lying on top of a client when I was doing energy work or shamanic healing. I came to trust his presence and listen to what he had to tell me.

On August 28th I woke up to the sense of Rusty falling. He fell over if he tried to walk and we both knew it was my turn to help Rusty on his final transition. I have been sensing him getting weaker and weaker and we’ve both been aware of a coming shift. It’s the end of another era in my life. Rusty has been with me through many transitions. Thank you, Rusty, for staying with me. Thank you for your unconditional love and support.

Rusty, I miss you. I look forward to meeting you again on the Other Side. I love you.